A Strawberry Margarita, Bro? Are You Gay?

One night after waiting tables, some co-workers (2 men, 2 women) and I headed to our regular bar to unwind and enjoy each others company. When the bartender approached our table to get our order, one guy and one girl got beer, the other girl and I got mixed drinks, and Jeremy ordered a raspberry Kamikazee and a beer. After the bartender left to make our drinks, the girls began giving Jeremy a hard time for his order, saying it was gay. The teasing didn't last long and we moved on to other subjects.

The bartender returned a short while later but he forgot to make Jeremy's Kamikazee with the raspberry, so Jeremy kindly reminded him. He was barely able to finish getting the words out of his mouth when everyone at the table began badgering him for how gay that was. No one was giving him a hard time for wanting his drink fixed, but the fact that he wanted it raspberry flavored.

Jeremy took it in stride, as he always does. He's straight and secure with himself, so he joined in and joked about it with everyone. So I guess the whole thing was just harmless fun... at least I know that's how it was intended. But I think it just perpetuates ridiculous stereotypes.

This same group gave Jeremy a hard time on a separate occasion for ordering a lime with his Bud Light, saying that was also gay. So why is it gay with a Bud Light and not with a Corona? There is even a variety of Bud Light with the lime flavor already added (Bud Light Lime), but that's not gay.

So what's the deal?

Why does the addition of fruit or fruit flavor make something less suitable for a man's consumption? Do men not like fruit? Or is it because women like fruit? Surely a manly man can't possibly want to drink the same thing as a woman... or maybe those are just the dudes.

Sworn to Secrecy?

 I want to share my coming out story here at some point. But as I've thought about what to include and what is relevant, I've gotten sort of... stuck. The thing is, my story involves other people. Some of those people may not want any part of their lives broadcast on the internet... and it's unfortunately not as simple as just changing a few names. 

I have had a few relationships with “straight” women that were not known to the public on one level or another. Because these women see themselves as residing on the straight end of the spectrum or they decide they don’t want to be seen as gay – whatever – there was a need to keep the relationship under wraps at the time. This has had many troublesome aspects in and of itself, but an issue more relevant to this blog is how far do I go to protect the identities of these women? In some situations, it will be difficult to tell my story without possibly ‘outing’ someone. Where do I draw the line?